5/24/10

"Black ICE.."

Black Ice

Froze over to the minus degree,
her lungs expanded what she believed was full yet remained empty.
Pockets full of green,
yet her soul was the reflection of a bottomless black [w]hole lacking.
Day in and day out…
each day was occupied by the infinite tasks she took on to fill a void she neglected to address.
Put on and put out…
because for her more was never less, captivated by the result rather than the process
She was a product of her yesterday,
a moment that forever haunted her entirety and now she found herself here.
Amongst a world full of strangers, a realm of “no can dos” and “nevers” …Lost.

She is black ice, tossed and tripped upon,
with no intent to be admired or adored.
Shuffled across pavements, pushed, scrapped and scattered amongst lawns,
for she is never the type to be included in photos or Christmas décor.
The shade of Moca latte and Dark chocolate..
temperature below zero resulting from a heart scorned.
To know her is to never have known her at all.
She is at bay, at distance and further more.
She exhibits just enough emotion to appear to be involved,
but dull enough to avoid the responsibility of casual living and minor conversations in halls.

She is black ice… awkward,
yet rare,
but never feels beautiful.
Stuck in the definition
of the glossy glass depiction.. of what ice should be
she stares in the mirror and destroys “she.”
Scanning the atlas of her landscape
pointing out every monument that is different from the next state.
She’s critical,
a perfectionist because for her to be frozen is to be...
locked in a series of compounds that is no illustration of what she sees.
Frigid perfection...
creates her desired creation
...and that’s far from what she needs.
Frozen in a facade of social comfort…
a comfort that she never once experienced…
a comfort that never proved itself,
as it never claimed her,
never said she was theirs,
never announced to the world she had a place,
a location,
a reason,
a purpose,
a for sure moment..
when black ice was cool and collected as one woman seen in her reflection.

She is bLaCk iCe… lost in the light


-Zsazsa khu Lawson